Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Prenatal Yoga-2nd Trimester Pics

(All photos copyright Cara Brostrom Photography)

A few weeks ago I met up with the talented Cara at JP Centre Yoga to shoot our next installment of my photo journey of this pregnancy! I'm going to be working on a project (maybe an e-book of sorts) about my experience with Prenatal Yoga and Pregnancy in general…so stay tuned for that in the year to come. 

In the meantime, I've been enjoying feeling a bit better in this trimester. Though, I must say that it all doesn't really feel that awesome for me in general. I like to be honest about my experiences and so, as profound, beautiful, and special that this time is…it's also really hard for me physically. Spiritually and mentally, I love this time! The honor, wonder, and joy to experience another life inside your own body is just beyond words. I look forward to the birth and honestly would take giving birth over having to gestate for 9-10 months any day! Truly. I just feel totally different and "off" than my non-pregnant state of physical being. I'm always curious and envious about the women who proclaim that they "love" being pregnant and feel amazing! Is it true that that happens? I take great care of myself but still end up with a slower pace, fast weight gain (oh the body image stuff that can come up), and overall feeling of nausea and strain on my body that I'm not used to. With that, I've heard that all these symptoms can mean a strong pregnancy. And for that I'm grateful. Taking it one day at a time now.  Just about 3 months to go. 

With this, I'm still moving through the grief with my whole family over the loss of my brother's daughter-to-be. A few weeks ago when my sister-in-law was at 4 months along, their little girl's heart stopped beating. It was her 2nd pregnancy as well. We were excited to be going through it at the same time. It shook the family and I actually found out about it just after filming this photoshoot. It sent me into lots of hard feelings and questions of the "why" and the wondering. So many women go through loss in this way during the childbearing years. It's astounding when this topic is brought up, just how many women speak up to their experience. And it's all of you that I know who have gone through something like this, that keep me so full of awe and gratitude for my own experience. Nothing else matters in the scheme of things but loving myself up during this time and bowing to each of you, bowing to Spirit, and to this miraculous process. 

So, I honor all of you in this month of May ahead (especially, you, Melissa) as we celebrate Mother's Day. May you know how supported and respected you are. May you know the beauty and grace that you are through all of our births and losses as women on this journey. Om Shanti, Peace, Shanti. 

*Wearing my Sweaty Betty Harem style pants (so comfy and great for pregnancy), and Liz Lange for Target Maternity tank top

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Poem to all of my Sweet Sisters-to Women everywhere

For the final day of our Art of Attention Advanced Teacher Training with Elena Brower, we were asked to write, perform, feel into something that we wanted to share.
This was my contribution...inspired by my own experiences, by ALL of the amazing women in that training, plus ALL of the courageous and beautiful women everywhere. Especially to my own mama.
If we are honest within, may we relish the quiet.
These transitions are our honor as women.
They bring us to the edge to recognize our fear but our greatness even more.
She says, How can I be bold and still remain myself?
This is part of the challenge, but to that I say--
Breathe It Out.

There will always be those who mistake your compassion for weakness,

your sensitivity for coldness,
your open vulnerability for cowardice,
or your love for competition.
Often it will be your mistake...
To that I say--
Breathe It Out.

Some days you'll put yourself last.

You'll feel foreign in your own skin.
You'll confuse your beauty for ego...or let the past take over the current flow.
To that I say--
Breathe It Out.

For WE are the magical ones.

The ones who feel the wind and can sense its mission.
Who can see inside and accept our truths.
Who can birth and raise boys to love and change the course of how women are received. 
Who can remain vulnerable and open at the same time, in the same space.

Vanda says, To be sensitive is to be alive.

This is our path to freedom. This is what it's about.
May we map ourselves and take it back. 
So be it.
And let's
Breathe. It. Out.

~Thank you, Elena, and my dear sisters along this path to pay closer attention to ourselves and to each other.