Mama to 2 boys~ wife~ E-RYT~retreat leader~ artistic spirit~moon goddess -- www.yoginijennfalk.com-- @jennpfalk on Instagram
Monday, December 12, 2011
Taking time to enjoy
And do some gentle yoga. What yoga can one do when sick?
I started each day with some half sun salutes: big breath in, exhale to forward fold, inhale to halfway lift, exhale fold, inhale back to tadasana, namaskaram. Ah, that always felt nice. Then take some standing gentle side bends, twists.
Later in the day, maybe work in some heart openers like cobra or locust on the belly, and maybe a bridge on your back. While on your back, take a thread the needle or another hip opening pose. And maybe hold down dog if you can breathe okay.
Basically, doing whatever feels good enough when you don't feel like your awesome physical self. Any little bit helps and makes you remember it will pass and all is well.
As for that part about moving back to our home? Yes, it is just about here! In one week from today we will be having the final inspection and moving our stuff back into our "new" place in Somerville. Won't be there long, as we'll be off again for family holiday cheer. But, it's so exciting. Boston friends and fellow students...I will see you soon! Back to teaching (just a little) starting Jan. 8! More details to come. ;)
For now, we shall enjoy our home away from home, Nantucket. Oh how we will miss her peace. After all, it's her island magic that reminds me of all that yoga is.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Pose of the moment: Headstand
Sirsasana: Brings fresh blood to the brain to rejuvenate brain cells. Refreshes the pituitary and pineal glands, increasing hemoglobin in blood, which might then improve memory. :)
Also releases muscles in upper back, works your core, spreads the scapulae, strengthens shoulders/arms, and can just feel great!
I've been trying to practice this pose every day for the last month or so, and plan to keep that going (minus when I'm on my moon cycle). It has been helping me conquer all sorts of crazy things. Some including:
-the physical fear of going upside down, which after giving birth increased two-fold, as I had to regain my strength, and also know that I won't hurt myself in the pose
-emotional fears...oh so many. this pose allows you to literally turn yourself upside down to gain new perspective when moody, stressed, depressed, or the like.
-mental fears/intellectual fears (stemming from this new role of mommyhood among other things)
Do you see a pattern here? Yep, fear. I've been seeing lots of other teachers talking about fear these days. Must be the season? At least we have poses like headstand to help us get over ourselves and bring us empowerment and confidence as well as physical benefits. Yeah yoga!
I encourage you all to find your own "pose of the moment" or try this one this week as we enter the holiday season. You might need it. ;)
Happy Thanksgiving!
**if you've never practiced headstand before, I would consult a teacher's help first to make sure alignment is correct and that you won't hurt yourself. If you're semi-practiced in it...start at the wall first! That's what I did at about 6 months post partum, to start getting back into it. Gradually, you'll get strong enough to move away from the wall and try a variety of sirsasana styles.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Late November Update
Monday, October 31, 2011
Yin-Halloween Playlist
And let me tell you, it was so needed. I felt at home. I felt that pull of energy that is offered up from my heart every time I step in front of a class. You all know by now what I've been up to since Isak was born. How my little family and I have been living out here on Nantucket for 4 months (and counting) until our house is renovated back in Boston. I haven't had the chance to jump back into teaching yet, so when this opportunity came up to sub for Paul at The Yoga Room, I was all about it. And I love yin. It's the season to begin diving back into a more yin mode.
Anyway, 8 wonderful yoga students showed up and we sank into our joints and tissues with compassion and ease, while listening to this new playlist I conjured up for the occasion.
And students back home? I offered it up to you, too! Happy Halloween everyone!
1. Altt i Guddi: Olof Arnalds
2. We Have a Map of the Piano: Mum
3. Near Light: Olafur Arnalds
4. Virus: Bjork
5. Frysta: Olafur Arnalds
6. Saint Naive: Jonsi
7. What are we Waiting For?: Amiina
8. Agust: Olafur Arnalds
9. Warm: Arms and Sleepers
10. Cosmogony: Bjork
11. This Place is a Shelter: Olafur Arnalds
12. The Beautiful Ones: The Battle of Land and Sea
13. Icicle Sleeve: Jonsi
14. Lag Fyrir Ommu: Olafur Arnalds
15. Thunderbolt: Bjork
16. New Piano Song: Jonsi
17. All the Big Trees: Jonsi & Alex
18. Tomorrow's Song: Olafur Arnalds
19. Indian Summer: Jonsi & Alex
20. Moon: Bjork
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Sequence to Open the Hips/Chest
-from tadasana (mountain pose), step into virabhadrasana II (warrior 2). Breathe slowly into trikonasana (triangle) and hold.
-transition with the breath to prasarita padottanasana(wide-legged forward fold). After a few breaths here, keep the head down and begin to swivel the feet so that you end up facing the front of your mat and finding a slightly shorter stance for parsvottanasana (intense side stretch pose).
-in parsvottanasana, come to fingertips to the mat with neck steady and level, so as to open the pectoral muscles while stretching the hips/hamstrings and strengthening the ankles and back.
-next transition into ardha chandrasana (half moon). Whichever foot is more forward, take that hand and walk it out and up a few inches. Once setting your drishti (gaze), begin to lift the back foot off the mat, opening the hip, chest, and top arm for a deep side stretch/chest opener.
-without losing your focus, move from half moon directly into urdhva muka eka pada rajakapotasana (half pigeon). This means the foot in the air will (as gracefully as you can manage) return to the back of the mat and your hips will square to the mat as you prep your knee, arms, hips for the pose. Hold half pigeon longer than any of the other poses. Maybe add a twist, stay upright, fold arms behind you, or take king pigeon. Listen to where you need to be. When ready to come out of it, lift arms out and up until palms meet over head for another slight back bend, then plant hands to the mat on both sides to come out into adho muka svanasana (downward facing dog).
-stay in down dog for a few breaths, then end in balasana (child's pose) for as long as you need before starting the same sequence on the other side.
After practicing this sequence on both sides, I suggest rounding out the practice with at least one deep forward fold, one nice twist, and maybe an inversion before resting in savasana.
Namaskaram!
October on Island
Mid-October here on Nantucket, and it's a blustery but sunny and perfect temperature day. It's been a week of rain, cloudy days, walks in the breeze, new colors peeking about, new music to cook, bake, and practice yoga to. We've made a few new friends here on the island. We've now been here 3 1/2 months and still have 1 1/2 or so to go, so it's nice to know people to call up. Our home in Somerville has gone through ups and downs during this energy retrofitting and construction phase. We think we're over the last hump and just trying to relax and wait it out now until our early December move-back-in.
New music? Well, it's been Iceland Airwaves week across the Atlantic...and oh how I wish I could have been there for the incredible line-up. My dear friends, Nina and Sam, are there taking it all in for me! Bjork, the queen goddess of unique, vibrant, melodic splendor released her Biophilia this week (on the full moon day at that) so I've been listening all week. My faves are the songs Virus, Crystalline, Moon, and Thunderbolt though the entire album is wonderful. Plus, if you haven't checked out Olafur Arnald's latest free Living Room Songs, do so immediately. Near Light makes me want to run out into the moors and jump/dance with all the love I have. And Lag Fyrir Ommu will make you miss dear ones and remember the grace they portrayed on you. The combination of all of this music made for new creative sequencing in my yoga practice and centering vibes this week. As always, thank you Iceland for the music that you provide to us all!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
1 Year Married to my Love
www.lovebyjen.com--photographer
*We also remember Grandma Frances Paulson today.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Yoga during women's Moon time
Today, however, it's my Moon time. Yes, I mean menstrual flow. All of us women get it, no shame in bringing it up here! And yes, I am one of the 10% or so of breastfeeding mothers who actually get theirs regularly (and have been since month 2 pp). Glad to know, right? ') Anyway, no headstands for me today. The full moon is approaching in a few days and it's time for me to honor rest in my body. As Isak naps, I just did a long stint in child's pose, some down dog, some hanging forward fold. Add on a couple of very slow vinyasas then holding some forward folds, such as janu sirsana, parsvotanasana, and paschimottanasana. Ending with gentle legs up the couch (onto pillows)!
Sarah's podcasts inspire me to make one someday (hopefully in the year to come) for exactly this--a woman's moon time. It's left out of classes much too often and women should feel encouraged to take it however they choose.
Here's to healthy menstrual flows!
Now off to a delightful autumn island weekend: time spent with Isak's grandparents, cranberry festival, farmers market, Yogawoman viewing with Nantucket yoginis, my 1st wedding anniversary with my love (and hopefully date night out!), and gratitude.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Getting into a new Flow with the first Autumn New Moon
I am awakened a bit from the weekend, when the uber inspiring, down to earth, so experienced yogis of the White Lotus Foundation came to lead a retreat. Ganga White and Tracey Rich were here to teach 3 days of asana, pranayama, meditation. I was only able to sign up for the Saturday morning session, but I was so happy that I did! I have not taken a workshop with such "high profile" yogis in the longest time where there was no ounce of ego from either of them, and I felt at ease and connected to learning new ways of looking at the breath and asanas. I have been thinking about it ever since and am already scheming in my brain how I can study with them again someday. Thank you Caitlin Marcoux for getting them to come here and share their energies!
With these last couple of days of listening to myself and doing what I feel, it's a strong Libra New Moon message. I am ready to start a new cycle and to stop beating myself up. As a new mom, life can be confusing and it's easy to get caught up in the rat race of shoulds and should nots. I've felt a little lost at times knowing that I'm not back to teaching yet in Boston, I'm not working on marketing myself...will my students remember me? Will I still be a desirable teacher? Will I move out of mommy brain fog and remember how to be a smooth, knowledgable teacher? Of course I will. But it's taken me 6 months to find my flow again (in yoga practice, in motherhood, in who I am) and well, maybe it will take 6 more to get back to my teaching groove. I don't care for the new competitiveness of the yoga world. It leaves new mommies who like to live a simple life feeling like they don't exist anymore. There's always a hot new yogini to take my place.
When thoughts like this enter my realm, I go back to the books I'm reading at the moment (Yoga as Medicine, Living Your Yoga, Iron Butterflies: Women Transforming Themselves and the World) and I take it all in. I look at my sweet, beautiful, fun baby boy and I take it all in. I kiss my supportive and amazing husband and I take it all in. This is what my life is about right now. My flow is a slow flow. I will return to the fast paced flow soon enough and then I will yearn for this slow life back. That's usually how it works, right? But maybe I'm learning. Maybe I'll hold on to some of this slowness and bring it back to the city. Balance. For now, I eat a little chocolate each day, dance with the flowers, feel the wind in my warrior, and love it just as it is.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Happy Autumn Equinox!
These photos are from last weekend (when dear friends were visiting and we made flower essences from the garden) up until yesterday (where my family and I stumbled upon an elf house in the woods). Isak ended up on the mat with me after his nap, at the end of my practice! We sent our energy out for the new season together. Nantucket is so much like Iceland on days like this. Fog and mist surround us here, and all glows with magic.
"When love speaks to you, believe in it, though its voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden." --From The Prophet
Friday, September 9, 2011
End of Summer Update
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Oh, and a few more fun photos!
Since I won't be back to teaching in the Cambridge and Somerville areas until mid-fall, I'll try to update with more photos from time to time. Isak is 5 1/2 months now and we're all doing great!
Practice, Practice, and August brings Patience
Here is my day so far....
Wake up with my boys sometime around 7:30. Play and relax a bit with morning smoothie, coffee, and try to see if I can make it to the morning yoga class. Not in the cards today due to timing, but ended up becoming a blessing because I got to do a full (I mean almost 90 min. of yoga) practice outside in a shady spot with my husband painting and my baby sleeping next to me. What bliss! For this to have happened was such a gift because rarely does the nap schedule of Isak fall into place just so...where I can get in a full practice (usually it's 20 min. here, 30 min. there, etc.). Plus, for our whole little family to get to be together in the same space (near my mother in law's beautiful garden!) doing what we love for a piece of the morning... so rejuvenating.
You see, we've not been succeeding too well as of the last couple of weeks in keeping to our goals of the day. My practice has been inconsistent for various reasons and it started to get my spirits down. It can be hard enough to figure out time management as an individual, but then throw in an infant and try to get things done! I now totally feel for and relate to all parents (especially you, Mom's) out there. You'd think it'd be easy for us out here on Nantucket. We are out of our usual weekly work during this time of transition, and it's amazingly peaceful of course. We have had a lot of family around and visitors, plus my Isak and I just took a week long trip to Philly to see the Pici crew. So, trying to schedule in everything we need to get done as well as personal time while also needing to visit with family members and tend to everyday things (cooking, laundry, cleaning up); well it can be overwhelming and exhausting. Having an infant, may, above all other things, teach you patience. For now at least, time is on his little hands. Isak can only tell me what he needs through cries, gurgles, and facial expressions. Learning them is the best thing in the world. Sometimes I end up spending much longer than I should just holding him or sitting and playing with him, when I could be getting things done. Another yogini mom friend of mine sent out an article this week about parenthood. In it, the author discussed this very issue of 'being in the moment,' because your babies just move forward and grow so fast. So I am working on letting go of dirty clothes, diapers, unwritten emails, missed chances of reading that article or searching for new music, because I don't need not doing those things bringing me down. This is the time for me to be slow at life. To be off the radar for a bit.
This doesn't mean I don't get time for ME each day. And that is a whole new concept I am figuring out and trying to incorporate into this new life. It simply means I have to be patient with myself, my baby, and my husband. I have to manage time in a whole new way, and be okay if things don't go as planned. And then some days, like today, it all just falls into place. Ahh!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Mid-Summer Update
Children 0-2 TOTALLY FREE (unless they require a separate room....)
Children 3-12 $250 (again, unless they require a separate room...)
Children 12 and up Depends on accommodations and cottage availability
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Brand New Summer Playlist
I look forward to sharing my new insights about the body when I return to that post on the mat in front of a class in a couple more months. More importantly, sharing the new insights that have developed in my mental state, and the pure, ecstatic joy of love that a baby brings!
A year ago, I was in Iceland with a select few on my yoga adventure that took us all to new growth & magic within. And then my Isak came to my body. This playlist was inspired from those memories. And now this summer is so brand new.
Summer Fog--The Album Leaf
Because of the Blood--Sin Fang
Blank Pages--The Album Leaf
Easier--Sin Fang
Within Dreams--The Album Leaf
Slow Lights--Sin Fang
Full Moon--Efterklang
Calgary--Bon Iver
Stand Still--The Album Leaf
Sing From Dream--Sin Fang
Until the Last--The Album Leaf
Tied Knots--The Album Leaf
Iridescence--Hildur Gudnadottir
Monday, June 13, 2011
Just saying hi...new playlist coming soon!
Haven't had many moments to get on this here blog with things to say. I've had various ideas come to me in the last few weeks about new topics to discuss, but haven't had the chance to write it down and now can't remember what all they were (that's what motherhood will do to ya)!
Isak is 3 months now and we're settling into each other with such love. He has become more alert, more happy, and cuter than ever. I've had some time to get out to yoga classes and this evening we had family yoga time where my husband, Isak, and I all did yoga. It will remain a challenge to continue to make time for myself like I used to, but my new life is just the lesson in yoga I need right now.
I won't be back to teaching until September or October, depending, so until then, I hope to rebuild my practice, my yogic vocab, and meditation.
I have some new playlists swirling around (and those ideas...), so I do hope to make time to update on here a couple times a month this summer. Wishing you all a beautiful lead-in to the full moon and the summer solstice ahead in the next week and days. xxo
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Late Spring Update
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Nurture, and Be Nurtured
Her beautiful friend, Anna, was visiting from Australia. They studied craniosacral together and so sometimes are fortunate enough to get the chance to perform a double-handed treatment on people. I had no idea what to expect. Once finally getting my baby to relax to sleep, I had about 30 minutes to bliss out. I got on the table, closed my eyes, and allowed their energies to soothe me. After setting mindful intentions, the music of my favorite film entered my ears. They had put on the Whale Rider soundtrack! Having never heard the soundtrack, but having been moved by the film so deeply, I instantly recognized it. Something about the combination of that and their immediate touch, so full of love...I could barely keep it together. All that had been knotted up inside (both joyful and overwhelming energies) started to release. By the end, I felt like I was floating on water or resting on clouds. Anna and Chanel had the power to soothe and connect to exactly what I needed with the most delicate, subtle, yet powerful qualities in their talent. They are mothers in their own way and to so many that they touch. By the very end of my session with them, I was able to let go a flood of tears and be embraced by the reminder that nurturing oneself is something everyone needs.
It's been a challenging time, this new motherhood business. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. I look at baby Isak every day in awe that he came from my husband and I, and just how special he is. At the same time, I sometimes mourn my old days of being able to hop on my mat without interruptions and do all those things from my "old" life. I knew that becoming a mom would be all of these things. I am one of five, and I've seen the hard work and the delicate balance my Mom has had to walk on. There are times for crying out of pure exhaustion, out of loneliness, confusion about what do...but then there are times for crying from a simple smile that your child flashes, the feel of their touch, and just knowing how much love there is between you and them.
I know my Mom rarely takes time to nurture herself in the ways that she truly needs. Of course it's just now that we're all grown that she can take more time for herself. Even now she's still busy as a grandmother and helping all of us figure out adulthood. I've also seen my sister become a mom. She came to visit last weekend and we both got a chance to relate to one another and spend some good one on one time without the babes (restorative yoga class!). Now that I am a mom, I understand it all so much more and realize just how cool Mother's Day truly is. Even if you aren't a mom, we all have one and we can all identify with these feelings. There's always something we are "mothering" in life. When you think of it that way, it makes you appreciate your real life mother figure even more.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Postpartum weight loss Hubbaloo
I created the most beautiful baby boy so why do I even waste my time on this petty BS?! I wonder that myself. Hmmph. Maybe if I was a more robust woman to begin with, then I wouldn't notice or feel that judgement from others. But, it's super hard to have been someone who has worked hard her entire life to be an athlete and be in shape. I feel like I'm a teenager/early 20's again. That's when I used to care, too. But the deeper I got into my yoga practice, the more I learned to let go of all that stuff. And then the last 2 years or so have been even better it seems, because I found love and learned to live life even more true and not be so strict about my practice, my diet, etc. And I got pregnant! Just when it all came together and I didn't quite think about those things anymore.
I was so excited to get pregnant. And going in, I had all these thoughts of the type of pregnant yogini woman I would be. Yeah, that didn't happen. Life doesn't work that way. You can't predict or force how it all turns out. I was super nauseated and tired for 2 months. I couldn't teach as much, I couldn't hardly practice, and all I wanted to eat were carbs. So, the weight started piling on. You couldn't necessarily tell because it was discreet (adding slowly to my hips and thighs before my belly). But, by half way through the pregnancy, I had already gained upward 20 pounds and I still had a long way to go. I remember doing the Shiva Rea prenatal dvd and she had said in the beginning that she gained 50 pounds during a pregnancy, and you just have to do what feels right to you. You see, that's just it. I was doing that! I was hungry for crying out loud! It was winter and I was too tired and cold to drudge out in the snow for exercise. All I did was yoga, which slowly tapered as it went on to be more and more gentle. I felt strong, though. As I knew my strength in certain muscle groups was diminishing, I also knew that my baby was strong and I had that foundation there. I stopped caring at some point because my midwife told me not too and that my weight gain was fine. And with the huge belly by the end, it all sort of works out proportionally.
And you all know my birth story (read the previous blog post). I had an amazing all natural birth. The nurses kept raving about how strong my baby's heart was the entire labor. And how strong I was. So, why do I care now that I carry all this extra weight postpartum? It will come off at some point...
I guess because I look in the mirror and I don't recognize myself. At least when Isak was still inside of me, it was me, just with him in there, too. Now, it's me with a lot of extra baggage! You see, I gained 50 pounds. Yes, my boobs are bigger now, but my belly, thighs, hips, booty are all bigger too. Ha! When I practice yoga now, I still feel like my old self in many ways. I have the flexibility in most poses and my underlying strength is still there. But just as it took me 9 months to pile all the weight on, it's probably going to take the same to get it off! And it's going to take time to rebuild my practice. Headstand? Crow? Side plank? Yeah, I'll meet you again. In fact, I'll probably be a better teacher because of all this. I have to re-learn many things and now I can relate to beginners even more. When I get back to teaching in a few months, I know I'll be grateful for the whole experience.
So, new mamas out there, try not to hold yourself up to the standards of our society and other people around you. I'm trying to do the same. Who cares if so and so in Hollywood is back in a bikini after 3 months. I have a real, healthy body with no extra help around. I have to figure out life with this new creature on my own (with my husband of course, who fantastically thinks I'm beautiful any which way), find time to work out, cook healthy meals, sleep, and just function. Just yesterday I was dreading the summer and having to put on a bathing suit or shorts. But, let me take all my new cellulite, my soft belly with the dark line down the middle, my wide hips, my no longer sculpted arms and bring it! It's the question of our time...what defines beauty? Well, maybe it's a woman on the verge of turning 30 who usually embraces all sorts of bodies, and who now, after giving birth, must learn to embrace her own again.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
My Birthing Experience
My 40 week due date was Friday, March 11. I had had the feeling that my baby was to come a little bit early since I had been feeling symptoms of labor for a couple weeks already. And he was pressing so much on my pelvic region with each step I took. As usual, people kept calling or writing to see if I was giving birth yet or if anything was happening. Turns out, my little guy was just extremely punctual and wanted to come exactly on time! After just a couple hours of sleep, early that Friday morning around 1:30 am, I woke to use the toilet and discovered my mucous plug had started releasing. I began feeling surges and crampiness that existed at a regular pattern and so I laid there the rest of that early morning knowing that everything was beginning. I tried to sleep more but those waves of uterine contractions make that a little difficult. Somewhere between 5-6am, my water started releasing. It happened in a couple of gushes within those morning hours. I texted my sister (who has a toddler) and then we ended up talking it all out, which was of such help. Then I called my doula, who wanted me to start timing the surges before we did anything else. And so by 7 or so I woke my husband. I figured he should at least be rested somewhat! I was hungry so I ate some toast and drank some berry juice, but my anxiety about throwing up during labor prevented me from eating much of anything else.
By this point, it's not too hard to simply focus and breathe slowly through each surge. I talked with my mom a few times, alerted my best friends, and just kept going with it. We discovered the surges were only about 3 min. apart but they were less than 1 minute in length, which meant I was in the early stages of labor. By 10:30am or so, they were definitely 1 minute long, so my doula headed our way. I got in the shower to rinse and feel nice and then parked it by my bed with my birthing playlist on. Spent lots of time on my knees over the bed to breathe through each wave. Our doula arrived and helped us keep things light and positive. We eventually decided to try to get out for a walk. It was a gray day with misty rain (very Icelandic) and it felt like just the right kind of day for this baby to want to come out. In my old sweatshirt and sweatpants, uggs, glasses on, and hair in a messy ponytail, we ventured outside. We made it down the block and back which was a success since every couple of minutes I had to stop and hang on to my husband to concentrate and breathe through. Upon coming back in, I tried to eat some avocado on toast and drink more juice and water. We made a plan and decided we'd leave for the hospital in the 2:00 hour.
Getting in the car to leave was strange and hard because I knew that the simple walk from front door to car might take awhile due to the surges. Luckily the ride to Mt. Auburn Hospital is not very long from our house, but the bumps in the road were pretty unpleasant at this point. All in all, I was still in a pretty upbeat mood and just taking it one at a time. We arrived close to 3:00 and went straight up to the delivery floor. They took us to our room and we began to settle in. The nurses and the midwife on call were all very friendly and kind. I settled in so they could do the initial fetal monitoring. After 20 min. or so it came off and I was able to freely move around. My husband put on the ipod and I was soothed throughout the evening with all of my favorite mellow music (Jonsi & Alex, Krisha Das, Mum, Leona Naess, Sigur Ros, Amiina...). For someone with such a strong affinity to her music, this was huge and so important! I also began focusing on all of the things my dear friends who had done this before me had told me. So, I began to drink water between each surge diligently and I tuned into that place that I teach about in my yoga classes. If I didn't know where that place was, I might not have been able to last as long as I did. I am pretty certain of this.
Our doula had me sitting up in kind of like a butterfly pose. I also stood up leaning over the bed, slow danced with my husband, sat on the exercise ball, got in cat/cow on the bed, etc. Since my water had released and my surges were so close together, they did not do an internal exam. We all figured I would push this baby out by evening. Well, once evening came (say between 7-8 pm), things were more or less the same. The midwife on duty was switching and so were the nurses. Our new midwife suggested she do a pelvic internal exam so we can assess the situation better. If only we had done it earlier...
She discovered that his head was very far down but baby was turned on his side and my cervix was still behind the head and I was only about 3 1/2 cm dilated! Imagine the mental state this put me in. I had already worked so hard for so many hours with a positive attitude through the most intense physical feelings I had ever felt and so to hear I had a long way to go was devastating.
I saw glimpses of negativity in my mind and had moments of wanting to breakdown and sob or give up. But, who are we kidding...I am a strong, healthy, brilliant woman that couldn't wait to finally hold this baby! And even when it got harder than anything else I have ever experienced, I knew that staying focused and calm was the only way to make it through. Crying or causing stress in my body would only make it worse (thank you hypnobirthing and yoga for installing this in my brain).
So what did we do? The midwife was so awesome at this point. She just took control and was with me for the rest of the time. She knew I had to get on my side to try to turn my baby's head, so I got on my left side in bed for 30 min. then switched to the right side for 30 min. She would massage my low back for me and my husband was at my front so I could grab onto him when I needed. At this point I was beyond exhausted and quite delirious. I just remember that I kept saying, "Help me. Can you help me? Please?" Yet I knew full well that I was the only one who could help me. Haha. This hour was by far the hardest work I had to do yet. For some reason being in that position made the surges even more intense (maybe because it was working to get my baby to turn his head). After that hour, I decided I would take up the midwife's suggestion to move to the bathtub. She got the water nice and warm and we made our way to the tub. How lucky we were to have such a nice hospital with all the amenities and such supportive people around. Once in the tub, just when I thought the surges couldn't get any stronger...boy was I wrong. Now, this, was the hardest work yet! My husband poured water over my belly while I held on tight to the sides of the tub as each surge presented itself. By now I was definitely vocal with each exhale (not screaming by any means, but sort of releasing a moan/om/song) and going deep, deep within to make it all work. Wow, it was powerful. After at least a half hour in the tub, I suddenly felt the urge that my body wanted to push! What a crazy feeling! I said so, and the midwife sort of got in the tub to feel for the head. Sure enough, she thought I was ready, so we all helped me out of the tub and I made my way back to the bed. She did a quick internal exam and I was 9 1/2 cm dilated! Woohoo! It was around 10:45pm or so. I got in more cat/cow to finish the work of dilating. When it was time to start pushing, they got me back on my side, where I stayed for a good 20 min. or so with the initial onset of pushing.
This point of the labor was so surreal and beyond describing. All I can say is that your body certainly takes over and you cannot control it. It is ready to push and so you do! (And yes, it really does feel a lot like you have to take the biggest crap of your life...ha! Except, you're about to birth your greatest creation in life!) After that first part of pushing, the midwife told me I could switch positions to speed things up, so I was all about that. I got into a sort of laying down squat. The nurse had one foot and my husband had the other. This is where more of the hardest work came. Whoa. I haven't eaten for almost 24 hours or slept, I am sweating, a bit out of my head, and just want this all to be over and holding my baby! So, I pushed. Something divine and other than myself took over. I thought of all the other women who had done this before me. I thought of other things that took strength in life and nothing seemed to compare to this. I knew that I was completely capable. By 11:50, they were telling me the baby could be born that day or on the 12th. My body needed to take it's time by that point. I was pushing for about an hour then and I also didn't want to tear. There was no forcing anything. It was simply my baby and I working together now for the best possible moment.
At 12:22 am, on Saturday, March 12th, my boy emerged from my womb and his dad placed him right up on my belly. The three of us were in complete awe of it all. We got to spend a good amount of time like this and Isak latched to feed right away. He was born a big boy (they measured him at 9 lbs 2 oz, but there might have been some scale issues). Needless to say he's a healthy, hungry guy and was back up to 9 lbs 4 oz at 2 weeks! And I made it out with just 1 stitch and some soreness...go yoga!
There ya have it. Yes, I did it completely natural and for over 20 hours. It was well worth feeling every single surge. But that was how it was supposed to be for me. It may not be anything close to the next woman in that very room. The main thing is that I have joined motherhood now. And that it's all true how mothers feel. Instant worry for this creation of yours, instant emotional connection to all of life, instant love. Just when you think you know all that love is, more of it rushes in.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
My baby boy
As many of you already know, I am pleased to announce that I welcomed my baby boy into the world 11 days ago on March 12! Isak James Falk is a healthy, strong boy that we are more than in love with. We had a totally natural birth and I am healing nicely. Going to spend the next month or two just settling into motherhood with this beautiful new life.
Wishing you all a happy spring with an abundance of yoga and wellness in your lives!
Love,
Jenn
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Where would you like to go and practice yoga with me?
All of my students and yoga are still constantly on my mind, however, and so many thoughts for future getaways keep entering my mind. My most memorable teaching experiences have come in foreign lands, while leading others in life-changing practice and adventures. Here's what I'm thinking for the future and I'd love to hear your thoughts on if/when you'd like to join me.
--This summer (sometime between June-August 2011): Nantucket weekend
My family has roots in Nantucket and I plan to be there with my new baby a lot this summer. Am thinking of organizing either a weekend retreat or simply getting involved with a local studio to lead some classes and workshops.
--Winter 2012 (sometime between January-March): A week in the Caribbean: St. Lucia or Dominica
Am dreaming of leading a family-friendly week-long yoga vacation in the sun, geared toward welcoming families (as I will have a one year old by then), but all will be welome.
--Summer 2012: Iceland
This would be another week-long magical Iceland Adventure open to all.
--Spring/Summer 2013: Croatia
Do I need to say more? I have a contact there and it would be a Mediterranean yoga paradise vacation.
So, let me know if these sound appetizing and post your comments/ideas about anywhere else, other times of year, etc. Would love to take a poll!
K, happy yoga to you all this month and hoping to share the news of my baby soon!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Love this mid-winter
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
February Update
Friday, January 21, 2011
My Upcoming Prenatal Yoga/Reiki Workshop
> Join us for an introduction to reiki and prenatal teas, then for a 60 min. prenatal yoga practice with Jenn (who is 8 months pregnant herself!) to allow your physical body and your emotional spirit to stabilize and settle into its natural rhythms of creating a baby.
> We will then relax in meditative savasana (prenatal style) to allow Steph to perform reiki on us in order to complete our relaxation/awareness and open our subtle energy points!
> Post-reiki/savasana, Jenn and Steph will open discussion about herbs, teas, foods, remedies, and postures that might aid you during the journey of your pregnancy. Steph will have samples of her Flowerfolk herbal line on hand for us to sample as well.
Jenn Pici Falk has been teaching Vinyasa Flow in the Somerville/Cambridge area for over 4 years, and practicing for 11. She encourages students to honor their bodies and spirit by opening to truth on their mats and staying light hearted. She provides a fun atmosphere with music and positivity to open up the power of yoga to everyone. Yoga has been the stable point of balance that has guided her through her first pregnancy so far.
Steph Zabel is a Reiki practitioner, ethnobotanist, and owner of Flowerfolk, a small local business which creates herbal-based skin care products. Her work is spreading knowledge about the beauty and power of plants. It is her honor to share Reiki healing with others.
Due to the energy and time sensitivity of this practice, space is limited to only 10 students.
Sign-up soon for your spot!
$50/person