Been reading and listening to a lot of Pema Chodron, the wise Tibetan Buddhist nun. She talks a lot about the power of positive thinking, getting unstuck, awakening lovingkindness towards yourself and then to others. My partner and I have been working on our shenpa this month. It could be why the emotions start to rise up...because shenpa refers to dealing with the negative thoughts and urges that arise, that we give into over and over again, thus reinforcing our cravings, habits, addictions. And when you recognize shenpa, it is the first step to refraining, then relaxing, then resolving it. But, it doesn't mean it'll be easy.
I recently had a friend ask me what my shenpa could be. I am a yoga teacher after all, with a very sunny outlook on life. At the same time, I am also a human being. A Cancer Sun with a Leo Moon...full of emotions, sensitivities to emotions, and the constant urge to want to deal with them and move towards my intentions. This means that yes, I too, deal with fears, irritabilities, sadness, and anger. And try to deal with it in a healthy way, through yoga, meditation, and friends.
That said, I have such amazing support around me in my loved ones and even in my acquaintances that moving forward always seems in reach. The full moon on Thursday reminded us of the power of our thoughts. It reminded us that if we imbue them with the power to know ourselves/be the person we are deep within our core being, then we will awaken our potential to contribute to the world around us.
I developed a special Full Moon practice on Thursday out of the blue, and have been teaching it the past few days. It has revived me and my students in ways that are indescribable. I feel so lucky to share such things when they come to fruition and to help everyone who steps on their mat under my guidance to feel safe and open to this very awakening. How grateful I am to do what I am meant to do and love doing.
And last night, my partner and I had a spontaneous encounter with our neighbors that ended up with sharing a meal in their backyard. We met their friends, watched two 5 year olds build and bounce around, and talked til late in the night. It was a warm and welcome break in the long month that's been had.
Now...one more week of teaching and planning til my adventure abroad...